I Am No Longer a Coffee Drinker.

Anyone who knows me knows that coffee is my thing. I’m rarely seen without it, and the spills on my coats, bags, clothes and scarves can attest to that. So how did I get to this point?

My history with coffee is very straightforward. I drank lots of it. Every day. The relationship grew so out of control that I had to quit, cold turkey, in order to gain my life back.

My love affair started out innocently enough. In high school I couldn’t even drink the real stuff, preferring milk-laden lattes and cappuccinos to a cup of brew. My friends and I would pack into the nearby Starbucks on our breaks from exams, sitting and sipping and studying. But somewhere in college, my infatuation became a full-on passion.

All of a sudden, I couldn’t think to go to class without a cup in hand. Forget lattes or milk, I was now drinking the stuff black. After realizing that I was spending hundreds of dollars a month at Starbucks, I bought a coffee maker for my apartment. Then I began drinking coffee at all hours of the night, making pot after pot while working late. While writing my thesis, I would write a page, drink a cup. Write another page, another cup. I went through a 10-ounce can of grounds every few days. The day I turned in my thesis, I had already had four cups by 10 a.m. I. Was. Wired.

Meanwhile, my body was quickly adapting to my rapid coffee consumption. If I didn’t get get my morning fix, I’d feel like I was in a total fog. My brain wouldn’t work, I ached all over, I was a grouch. It was a little scary how quickly those symptoms would disappear when I finally had my coffee. First my mom told me I was out of control. Then my doctor warned me that that much caffeine at a young age could really mess a system up. But I was busy! Graduating! Interning! Going to grad school! Health be damned, I needed my coffee to function. Coffee was no longer a casual acquaintance — it had become necessary for my survival, the unhealthiest of relationships.

Perhaps my low point with coffee was during my most recent trip to India, in December 2010. By this point I was hooked and there was no turning back, even in a country famed for its Darjeeling tea (pictured above). While I had plenty of that, I found myself far too often buying coffee, knowing that all I would receive was a cup of Nescafe Instant with a good helping of thick milk and a staggering amount of sugar. This was no inky black coffee I was having, it was a caramel-colored syrupy dessert. Frustrated, I dragged my parents to the busiest part of Kolkata and demanded they buy me a real coffee, from a small Lavazza shop, which cost about 10 times what the regular cups cost. I needed help. Fast.

That help didn’t come until over a year later, and I’ll admit, the reason I stopped drinking is quite embarrassing (and rather vain). While admonitions of ulcers and increased blood pressure did not scare me, signs of acne did. A few weeks ago, angry red spots began to appear on my face. I traced the cause to two things: eating lots of takeout and drinking way too much coffee (my intake had surged to 6-8 cups per day). While the takeout stopped once my aunt came back from a two-week trip, the coffee was all on me.

I switched immediately to green tea. The health benefits of green tea are well documented* and it has the added benefit of not staining your teeth (hello, vanity). Green tea still contains potent levels of caffeine, but the act of infusing the tea in water cuts the caffeine intake. While I still find the flavor of some green teas too earthy for my taste, I find something soothing in drinking it. It calms me to sip tea, a big change from my often frenzied coffee swilling.

Still, the transition was miserable. My jilted ex-lover taunted me at every turn, from the aroma of freshly ground beans that wake me up every morning to the hazelnut coffee that someone brews every day at work. When meeting friends for coffee now, thoughts of “just one cup” stir dangerously in my mind. I get my coffee fix through other sources: coffee-chip ice cream, cappuccino muffins, a chocolate-cappuccino layer cake that was baked the weekend I dumped coffee and dreams of coffee-chocolate macarons that I will one day master.

They say it takes around six months to get over a long-term relationship. Coffee and I were acquaintances for a year, best friends for another, passionate honeymooners for two years and have been in a knock-down-drag-out war ever since. I’ve moved on to better and better for me things. But a part of me will always miss my biffle, the distinct smell of strong, roasted beans, the way it paired so nicely with a morning read of the newspaper. Maybe one day, we’ll be casual friends again, able to see each other only once a day. Until then, adieu.

*Coffee definitely has some health benefits too, if drunk in moderation (key words). Eating Well broke down the pros and cons of coffee-drinking in their April 2011 issue.